A satirical look at three different families and the trials they face in each of their own uniquely comedic ways.
"So my plan was: drive Claire and Mitch home, put them to bed, pour myself a big tumbler of scotch, and tell Dede it was over. But on the way out we made one last stop. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s what robot Lincoln said about a man’s duty or "keeping the union together". Maybe I just chickened out. But I realized staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife. That’s not the right decision for everyone… but it was the right decision for me. So I stuck it out until they were grown."
"Jay you want to join me in the jacuzzi?"
"And the universe rewarded me"
"My dad made this. He’s a world-class soap carver."
"Then by the powers vested in me by the State of California, I am privileged to pronounce you spouses for life. You may now kiss your husband."
↳Reverend Philip Humphrey Dunphy: 2/3
“I remember it like it was yesterday, the day Mitchell came home from the hospital in a very unfashionable white diaper, with three strands of scraggly raggedy andy hair. We were inseparable. I was his big sister. His big brother. His… nemesis. His protector. His best friend. I was his first partner, and I loved every minute of it. So, naturally, I was a little picky when it came to who was going to be replacing me. And then I met this Cam, and sure, he was warm, and funny, and loving. I wondered was he really everything I wanted for my brother? Was he really the best person? No. I’m the best person. And now I am very pleased to raise a glass and introduce for the first time ever on our fourth try; great husbands, Mitch and Cam. ”
- You know, and I’m also gonna write a little storybook… You know, something I can read her at bedtime. It’s called "Two monkeys and a panda." She’s the panda because she’s Asian.
+ And we’re monkeys because…
- I can draw monkeys.